If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
