69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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