So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
