absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
