I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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