If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
