you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
