The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
