he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize