The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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