Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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