So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
