I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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