I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
