Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
