I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
