I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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