my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
