Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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