I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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