He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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