i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's great music for shaving your balls
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
