dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
