yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
