after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
