her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ketchup is God's man juice
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
