farters have to be the big spoon...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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