On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We got so high we made milksteak
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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