dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
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Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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