Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"it" just moved
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
