I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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