Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am midnight drunk by noon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
