My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
