You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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