Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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