There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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