don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
