Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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