If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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