Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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