you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
