Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
