What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
