the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How external is "for external use only"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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