So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
