I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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