I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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