I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
