I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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