Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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