Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
