so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
