It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
