I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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