He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
