Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
