I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
