at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
