I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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