I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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