so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize