bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
