You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
