He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
